Old and broken

I think I've broken myself. Even though I did no heavy lifting yesterday, I still woke up with sore, tight muscles especially in my legs and back. How long do muscles stay sore and tight? I wouldn't know because, well I don't exert myself usually! A shower has loosened things up, but I think I might have accelerated my descent into middle age.

You know last night I had a splinter in my finger and I had a hard time focusing on it to get it out. I had to hold the finger a certain distance away and all those jokes about holding menus in restaurants at arms length suddenly sprang to mind. My hair is already turning gray, so what's left?