I asked this on Twitter, but here goes anyway. So what's every one doing for the 4th of July? I still have no idea. This is the first year where I feel like I should do go out and do something, but I don't know what. I'm not even sure why I feel that way except maybe it marks progress in my goal of being more social. I do have an invitation to a barbecue, but I still haven't decided. Walking into a party with a bunch of people I don't know is still very scary. That said, I have made amazing strides in the last year.
So what to do. The barbecue. The event at Bayou Bend. The symphony. The downtown fireworks. Sitting at home alone as always. Decisions, decisions.
And on another topic, I have had to finally admit to myself that I am an optimist. I wrote an incredibly sorrowful post a few days ago that I promptly removed after a few hours. I just didn't want to dwell on the sadness. And yesterday after a day of reading the text of the last post, it finally dragged me down. I admit it. I cried after replaying things from that relationship in my mind. But today that feeling is completely gone. I always used to think of myself as a pessimist, but I really don't think I am. Or I have changed. There is only one area that I'm pessimistic about (and we all know what that is) and even then there is always a little light of hope. And I must be an optimist if I actually think I will be able to make plans for the 4th that won't get rained out.
Happy 4th of July. Here is a video to set the mood. This is one of my very favorite pieces of music! The audio isn't great but it is with fireworks and I love those too.