I'm having a bad day. This problem has resurfaced to my awareness and I think I need to go to the doctor. But I am so mortally terrified of what a doctor might tell me. I don't want to find out that I have some horrible incurable disease. I have a hard time with dealing with thoughts of death and dying. And my doctor isn't the nicest person so I don't want to go in. But I do want to if it is something that can be corrected like thyroid. I'm scared and upset and I can't stop crying. I also don't know why these revelations always happen on a Friday afternoon. So I have to wait the whole weekend before I can take any action and will instead spend the whole weekend sobbing except for Sunday when I have to go into public and pretend that I'm happy because I've talked a lot of people into going to roller derby. So if you see me Sunday please just play along. I can't deal with talking about it.