Doctor's Visit

Ok. Here's what happened at the doctor. After asking me some questions and examining me he told me it could be one of two things and thyroid wasn't one of them. First he said it could be a hormone imbalance. Too much testosterone which would be fixed by getting on the birth control pill. Second it could be from stress/anxiety. The more we talked about stress and my constant anxiety about everything the more it seemed like this may be the answer to the hair thinning. He pretty much told me that he expected my hormone tests to come back normal.

So what to do? Anti-anxiety medication. And there in lies my new anxiety. He prescribed Paxil and the medication is waiting for me at Walgreen's but I don't want to take it. I called my aunt who is on it and talked to another friend who is on similar medication and they both said that it has been incredibly helpful. But if you search at all for Paxil you come across horror story after horror story of life on the medication. Or more specifically getting OFF of the medication. And some of the side effects of being on it. The longer I think about it the less comfortable I am with taking it in the first place. I certainly don't want to be on the hardest one to get off of. The response from several people has been, why are you thinking about getting off of it? The answer? I think because I'm not that wild to get on it in the first place.

So I called the doctor this morning and left a message with the nurse asking if they could put me on something else. I had concerns. Well she didn't call me back, but he did. "What's the problem? Are you a doctor? Don't believe what you read on the internet." He was very patient in the waiting room, but the guy on the phone, not so much.

And the more I think about it the less sure I am that I am ready to take ANY anti-anxiety medication. I don't think it has come to the point where it is debilitating and I think I would like to try a few months and see if knowing that I have these issues if I can deal with them better. To me the most telling sign is that if it IS a hormonal imbalance I would have to take birth control pills and that doesn't bother me in the least. However taking the anti-anxiety medication upsets me. I just don't think I'm in a place mentally to do it.

So the plan is to wait to hear the results of the blood test. Not to start the Paxil just yet especially considering I will be out of town next week. And if it isn't a hormonal imbalance to tell the doctor that I am going to wait a few months and see if I can deal with it on my own. If I *can't* then I can always go back in and start the medication. I don't think he is going to like it at all. But honestly if he won't listen to my concerns about this medication, then maybe I need to find a new doctor.

And yes, I totally realize the irony in being anxious about anti-anxiety medication.

UPDATE: Talking to my mom I realized the wording of what I want. Options. I want a range of options if anxiety is truly the case. From medicine to without, give me options. And if the only option he can give me is take this pill or be miserable then that will tell me what I need to know.

The Dentist