Lost in the crowd

Last night was enlightening. I dropped off my photo at the gallery and then had dinner with some of the Houstonist staff and photography friends at what ended up being a very long table.

Lately I have come away from one of these social gatherings learning something about myself and last night I realized that I don't have as much fun in a large group as I do in smaller groups or one on one. At one point I was looking at the back of everybody's heads as they were looking down the table and realized it didn't matter anyway because I didn't really fit with the topic of conversation. The best conversations for me were at the beginning when I talked to people at my end of the table and at the end when most of the other people had left and it was a much smaller gathering. Many of these people have larger than life personalities and it is easy for me to get lost in the shuffle. I'm not sure if that will make sense but it does to me. If it makes sense to you then you are probably like me.

It's funny that a year ago I was so reluctant to go to any social gathering and now I enjoy them and look forward to them, but there was something vaguely unsatisfying about last night. I'm hesitant to even say anything because many people that were there last night read this blog, but I hope they know me well enough not to take it personally. With everyone that I consider a good friend, I have had a much more satisfying conversation (whether the topic is personal or completely silly) in the past. Maybe my personality just didn't fit last night's vibe.

Hand

On this rainy night