I am so tired of being invisible. Of being ignored, of being taken for granted, of being overlooked for things. Of offering my services and being shunned to the side. Of hearing only platitudes that mean nothing. Before I got online I WAS invisible. Once online I didn't interact with people much or in person at first and it was to be expected. But now I interact with people, try to get my name out there, try to make friendships and connections and the same exact things are happening. I'm a big invisible nothing and people only pay attention when I say things like this. Then they say all their rah rah statements and then things go back to the way they always were. It makes me not want to interact online anymore. What's the point? It hurts much more to be passed over by people that I know in person than it did when I had no personal connection.
UPDATE: While cleaning up for my mother's visit, and trying to stay busy to stop the crying, I stepped on a piece of broken glass and my foot started bleeding everywhere. The glass was from a broken vase and I thought I had swept everything up, but obviously not. Interestingly enough this just made everything funny. This has been such a crappy afternoon, who knew that an injury would make it better.