I think the state of my apartment is an outward manifestation of my emotional state. Right now it is a jumbled mess and that's exactly how I feel. I'm not exactly sure what brought on this little crying jag that I'm having, but I feel pretty shaky this morning. Once my defenses are down it is harder for me to hold things together. In essence the dam has broken.
It's a combination of work stress and personal disappointment. Something that I thought would relieve stress has actually brought up a whole host of strong emotions that are overwhelming. I can't stop thinking about my last serious relationship. How much I miss him, what great chemistry the two of us had, wondering what he is doing now. I could probably email and find out, but it would be too depressing to hear how he has gotten on with his life which is what I should be doing. I'm the one that broke it off for my emotional health and I need to remember that.
Time to clean my apartment and get things back in order.