Getting ready to say goodbye

I think I need to start preparing myself to say goodbye to my Gypsy.  This is something I have been dreading a long time because I don't think I'm going to handle it very well.  She is acting perfectly fine right now except she is drinking more water than normal and she's lost some weight.  

Now if you saw her you would say she looks perfectly fine.  And I KNOW that I have some mental issues.  I remember reading a post by Jenny The Bloggess where she was talking about coming to the realization that it wasn't normal to worry about your child dying all the time  and I realized that I thought the same way about Gypsy.  I think that while I have anxiety issues they are not as pronounced as others and I have been working to deal with them naturally. This will be a test.

I'm not sure whether the things I notice are serious because they are serious or serious because they are in my head.  She has definitely lost weight, but that was because before she was an overweight kitty.  Now she just looks normal.  Of course I have not put her on any kitty diet so that worries me.

I will take her to the vet sooner rather than later, but I am dreading that visit.  I don't want to hear the bad news.  Pretty much the same reason why I don't like going to my own doctor.  I don't want them to find something.  I know that is part of the anxiety.  I'm not perfect at dealing with it.  I just keep trying.

Finally I will have to take her on a specific day.  I think it needs to be a Friday at the very least because I am not one of those delicate criers (see preparing for bad news).  I'm one of those "have swollen eyes for about three days after" kind of criers and I need some recovery time before I go back to work.  I have some busy Saturdays coming up so that pushes the schedule back.  I'm leaning towards Spring Break.  Sigh.  Sooner rather than later.  I don't think I'm going to handle this well.

Boo ba doo ba doop

Change, Hope and Rekindling