I can't see

So while I've been dealing with the whole can't hear thing (thankfully that's over) I have been simultaneously fighting a whole can't see thing.  I needed new contact lenses so I went back to my regular eye place in mid-March. Unfortunately my normal doctor wasn't there and the one that has been dealing with me has been hard to work with.

When I went in I didn't really notice a change in my prescription.  I had just run out of lenses and needed new ones.  He gave me what was the newest model of the lenses that I used to have.  But they just did not feel comfortable on my eyes and words seemed to be blurred.  Next he gave me a very long lecture about why I am so difficult to fit for contact lenses (astigmatism, near sighted, flat corneas) and fitted me with two different lenses, one for each eye.  Killing two birds with one stone, to knock out two brands at once.  One lens wasn't bad, but the other one was horrible.  When I went to see Les Mis it was pretty much blurry the whole time.  But I suffered through.  I went back the third time and he kept the brand of the lens that was working, but tweaked things on both of them.  He gave me those on Friday. 

I wasn't supposed to go back until Saturday, but I went in today (time #4!) since I was off work.  All weekend, things have been blurry.  Comfortable but blurry.  While I was looking at the stars last night they were blurry dots of light.  I had to squint for the letters to be clear on the TV.  That isn't the way it is supposed to be.  Right?  I don't even know anymore.

Today I got more lectures about why I am so difficult to fit and how people that use the computer a lot or are on allergy medications just won't see as sharp as other people.  And I would say that I don't think I should have to see the world blurry AND that I wasn't having these problems with my old contact lenses and he would launch into the same lectures again.  I tried my best, but I got upset.  And you all know what happens when I get upset (kind of like the Hulk, but with tears).  At that point he went to get a third party to be a witness, I guess because I am such a difficult person and he wanted to make sure that later he would have a witness to what he told me.

And I feel bad.  I feel like I am being a difficult patient, but I don't think I should have to see things blurry.  I would tell him that I could read the 20/20 line, but it was blurry.  And then he would say well you have 20/20 or 20/30.  But yes, but the line was BLURRY.  That would start the same lectures over.  I'm so frustrated.  He is ordering my old lenses to see if that works, but he pretty much said, if I order these are you going to be happy?  As in are you going to stop complaining?  The problem is I'm kind of trapped here because I've already used my insurance.  So I'm going to hope that the old lenses are still ok and that I haven't forgotten that they were bad, pay and get out of there, even if it isn't perfect.  

Tonight I'm totally paranoid about what I'm seeing with my glasses when I never even used to think about it.  I panic at the thought of just having to see blurry for a few months until I can afford to go somewhere else on my own or having to move to glasses permanently, but I just don't know how many more times I can go back to him.  Why does dealing with doctors have to be so difficult?

In the Kitchen

Afternoon Soundtrack