I've fallen down a hole. There are nights here and there where I cry about being alone, or I feel lonely, but I usually bounce back the next day. This isn't one of those times. When I'm in the hole like I am now, I'm pretty far down and those feelings are greatly amplified. It isn't something that goes away with one good night's sleep.
I despair of ever being someone's special someone. I have been told at different times that a.) I need to be happy being by myself and b.) that relationships are a lot of work too (i.e. it isn't all its cracked up to be). I understand what these people are trying to say and do, but it doesn't help when your heart longs so much to be loved and you have never really known it. If I was a religious person I would shake my fist at the heavens and ask why I have been given such a longing for love and not been given someone to love me.
Comments are off. I honestly don't want to hear the platitudes no matter how sincere they are. I know you mean well, but it doesn't help. I'll return to regular posting soon chattering about Azalea Trail and new websites, but it will still be from the hole. I just needed to put this post here because this blog is my personal journal of the good, bad and everything in between.
Look out for holes. They are bad.
P.S. I just noticed that it has been a year since I posted in this category. That's a good thing I guess.