I am in Port Lavaca. I was chased out of the city by the sad demons that have haunted me all week.
The demons that noticed that for the first time in a long time I was not working on my birthday. The ones that noticed that I was going to be alone and that I have no one in my life to celebrate with. My coworkers and I will be going out Monday but we do that for everyone in our group. Other than that I have no one in my life who thought of me and said "I wonder if she has plans on her birthday" or "I want to help celebrate her birthday." No one to plan a party or a special event or who just wanted to spend time with me on my actual birthday. For someone who thinks that birthdays are special occassions it is sad and lonely.
I'm in that lower tier of friendship for people. A Facebook message or a Tweet suffices. I'm not in the forefront of anybody's mind. Not even family that lives only two hours away. I am not part of anyone's intimate circle. I'm sure I'll receive an email or two in protest but it is harder to believe anything after the fact no matter how well meaning.
The demons have grabbed hold and have dwelled on this information for more than a week. And they won and I am broken. So I escaped. I don't expect this trip to heal the broken me. At this point it is just about survival.