I had a specific reason for jumping into the world of online photography all those years ago.  I loved blogging and wanted to use my new digital camera so decided to start a photoblog. This purpose has suited me well over the years.  Many of my outings were specifically to "feed the blog." While I was doing this I found another purpose for my photography.  Life. It was getting me out of the house and letting me experience living in Houston.  I am shy and have found myself living the life of a loner.  If it was not for my photography I would still be sitting home alone watching life pass me by.  With my photography I got out, went to events, festivals, parties, and started photography groups to interact with other photographers.  Photography has had a huge impact on my life.

That was 7 years ago this September.  7 years is a long time and despite how much I hate the idea of change, things change.  People change and purposes change.  Now I am at a crossroads.  My original purpose for my photography does not motivate me anymore.  It doesn't get me to events or in front of my computer to edit.  It doesn't energize me.  I still love taking photos and have even begun to experiment with film.  I still want to document what I see and where I go.  I still need that "best friend" to go out with me.  But I need more than that.  I need a bigger purpose to my photos.

I've toyed with this idea off and on for a while.  I've thought about different projects I could do and different ways to present my work and have occasionally started new sites.  These detours into other areas were never very serious, but it has become clear to me in the last month or so that I really need a new direction. A specific goal, purpose or project.  It is time for me to get serious about why I take pictures and what I want to do with them.  

I've thought about lots of different things that interest me.  I love garden photography .  I think it could be interesting to focus on my analog film work.  I've thought about starting a Houston Cityscapes type of blog.  I've thought about turning Assignment Houston into a more personal Houston blog.  I've thought about lots of different things, but nothing grabs me and everything presents problems.  The film one is scary because I am so new at it and I'm not sure that I could bring anything particularly new or compelling with my film work.   I think most of my stuff would just be a rehash.  The Assignment Houston one is difficult because I feel like it is something that really belongs to the group even though I am the one that runs the group.  I feel like I can't take it over and turn it into my personal brand.  The cityscape Houston one is interesting, but then what happens to Photine?  I have a ton of Houston stuff on there.   Do I start new?  In the past I have tried different sites and I always ended up folding them back in because I don't like the split voice and having different projects all over the web. I've even toyed with abandoning photine altogether and reviving the name laanba which is completely unique to me, but the idea of abandoning 5 and 6 years of blogging and photoblogging history under the name photine scares me.  But then again what exactly does the name Photine mean to anyone anyway.

Basically I am lost at sea with no direction and no purpose.  My mind is a whirl. I just know that I want to do something.  Something new.  Something exciting.  Something to give me more of a specific voice.  Something with my photography. I've heard for years that the personal journal blog was over and that blogs must now target specific audiences.  I believe there will always be  a place for a personal journal/general blog and I will probably always have one but even I have to admit that I don't blog here nearly as much as I used to.   This blog is tied into the Photine photoblog and both of them are general purpose blogs.  I want to do something more specific.  I want something that isn't just a name, but has a specific purpose.  But change is scary.  I can't even begin to face change until I know what I am changing.  I need a purpose.

UPDATE: I always know that blogging helps me work things out.  I know that I want to do something specifically with my Houston photography.  Now to just figure out what.  And to figure out what that will leave for Photine.