Shut Down

When I get really stressed I shut down.  Usually I don't recognize the signs and behaviors until the thing causing the stress has lifted and I look back over my patterns for the previous weeks or months.  

My current stressor (UIL) is still two weeks away, but I recognize the patterns now.  It has been at least since mid-February and I think it has slowly been getting worse each day.  I have gotten to the point where I do absolutely nothing in my apartment.  My laundry is piling up, my refrigerator is empty and my apartment is a disaster.  And yet I can't muster the energy or desire to work on any of it.  

I usually don't recognize things this early.  I'm not sure if it will help me break the pattern or if I'll just sit here numb with the added knowledge of knowing that I am sitting here numb. 

Crawling Up

One of those days