So true to form, I spent my first full week of vacation sitting in my apartment letting my broken anxiety brain hobble me. In my defense I also had two days where I was fighting a random fever, achy body thing. And I did actually leave the house to go see Best Little Whorehouse in Texas.
But every June the same thing happens. I'm suddenly doing nothing with no plans and conveniently some kind of vague medical issue pops up and I go into crazy person mode. And I'm in the middle of the crying, or the anxiety or the complete lack of desire to do anything other than sit on my sofa and surf the internet or sleep or read and I know I'm in crazy person mode, but I can't shake it. My apartment falls apart around me and I retreat further into the corner of my sofa.
But as I do, I come out of it. I have finally found a new doctor and I am going to see her for the first time on Thursday to start working on some of my issues. And a friend is rescuing me for the next couple of days and is going to keep me occupied until Wednesday. And looking through my blog history I see that I battle something like this every mid-June. It is one of the reasons I started volunteering at the science museum. I'm not doing that anymore but will need to find something like that to keep me busy. So there is light at the end of the tunnel.