This week was better than last week. Last week I really let the anxiety and stress take over me and turn me into a non-functional entity. This week I still had some of the same concerns, but I handled them better.
The doctor appointment went well. I am not a fan of doctors and avoid them as much as I can, but as I get older that is not going to be realistic. I decided this time to look specifically for a female doctor. I looked through all kinds of places, but I ended up finding her on Yelp. There were only two reviews, but one of them was from a fellow blogger that I trust and it was a good decision. She was gentle and easy to talk to her and her staff was wonderful. I went in for one specific issue and she ended up talking me into getting a whole range of tests run, but in a good way. My previous doctor was big on lectures. I never felt lectured there. I think I finally found my general practitioner.
One major thing from this visit. I talked with her and I think I am finally ready to take anxiety medication. I wasn't sure while I was talking to her, but I thought about it over night and called back today. The last time I really thought about this was 5 year ago. 5 years. My melt down last week was disturbing and when I look back at old blog posts I can see that not much has improved. When I asked her about anxiety and she started asking me questions it really brought a lot of things into focus. Things that I just thought were simple things like lack of sleep, my tendency the last few years of staying in and anxious feeling I get when I am away from my apartment. Officially it is Generalized Anxiety Disorder. I am finally ready to get help. I'm glad. And anxious of course.