Doctor, Doctor

This week was better than last week.  Last week I really let the anxiety and stress take over me and turn me into a non-functional entity.  This week I still had some of the same concerns, but I handled them better.

The doctor appointment went well.  I am not a fan of doctors and avoid them as much as I can, but as I get older that is not going to be realistic.  I decided this time to look specifically for a female doctor.  I looked through all kinds of places, but I ended up finding her on Yelp.  There were only two reviews, but one of them was from a fellow blogger that I trust and it was a good decision.  She was gentle and easy to talk to her and her staff was wonderful.  I went in for one specific issue and she ended up talking me into getting a whole range of tests run, but in a good way.  My previous doctor was big on lectures.  I never felt lectured there.  I think I finally found my general practitioner.

One major thing from this visit.  I talked with her and I think I am finally ready to take anxiety medication.  I wasn't sure while I was talking to her, but I thought about it over night and called back today.  The last time I really thought about this was 5 year ago.  5 years.  My melt down last week was disturbing and when I look back at old blog posts I can see that not much has improved.  When I asked her about anxiety and  she started asking me questions it really brought a lot of things into focus.  Things that I just thought were simple things like lack of sleep, my tendency the last few years of staying in and anxious feeling I get when I am away from my apartment.  Officially it is Generalized Anxiety Disorder.  I am finally ready to get help.  I'm glad.  And anxious of course. 

I feel...

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