"Your mammogram detected a mass in your left breast. We need you to go back for more tests."
Welcome to my Monday afternoon and the start of what was a hellish week. If you read online, as I have this week, you will find that 10% of women are called back and for the most part the results are benign. But no matter how many statistics are placed in front of you and how many don't worries come your way when you are in the middle of it, it is frightening.
I went through periods of shock, periods of crying, 24 hours where I didn't touch food, a night of terrible sleep, a night of normal sleep, a day where I felt depressed and a day where I felt normal. Not that this is easy at anytime, but it probably would have been easier to distract myself if I was at work instead of on vacation, able to sit at home and think of nothing but breast cancer and do nothing but access Google. Mr. Mellow suggested that I find something interactive to do like a game that required my full attention so I can now say that I am a Level 14 Warrior on Infinity Blade.
Today I woke up feeling almost excited and very energized and that feeling carried me right up to the moment I walked back into the imaging center. The tears started then and continued off and on as I got checked in, had a diagnostic mammogram and an ultrasound. When the radiologist walked in he asked why I was crying and I was torn between laughing and ripping his head off. The news is on the good side. He thinks I may have a cyst, which is benign. He can't even tell for sure so I will have to go back in six months. If it is a cyst or it gets bigger he may have to pop it. None of this is cancer related. This is a huge relief. When I got in the car my stomach grumbled and I think dinner tonight will be the first meal that I truly enjoy this week.